I woke up this Morning

Today when I woke up, I was in that fog which comes almost remembering a dream. Exactly what I dreamed does not seem to be available, but the anxiety is still messing with my mind, and body as well.

Now it is afternoon and the anxiousness is still with me. I have been thinking all day about H&R Block. I think that some (most) of the dread I feel is coming from that direction. (The economy, also). Last Monday's class featured a lot of 'corporation speak'. My instructor is an evangelist from the Block Church. She is a true believer. That is OK for her, but 'Corp Speak' means 'corp thinking' and 'corp thinking' is one of the things I hate most in this world. I worked under that type of thinking for 10 years, and it is not happy, healthy, or beneficial at all. Yes, I can exist in that environment...do I want to exist there? Not at all! Never Again!

Monday's class was filled with buzz words and phrases which mean something to my instructor. But every one of them set my mind on edge. I feel that 'corp speak' is a bane on individualism, and to me individually. I DO NOT want to be a part of that at all. Corporate thinking is one of the big items that is wrong with the USA today. We, as Americans, go along with too much of that type of thinking. Why should Block's bottom line be of any importance to me? I don't believe there Is a reason why it should. Corporate thinking all too often equals greed. That type of thinking is why we the people of America (not the government!) had to bail out the banks. Has that bail out worked? Well, check out today's market to see. That bailout was instigated by the same people that caused the problem in the first place. Have any of those ideas been good? I think not!

I do feel that helping people prepare their income tax is a worthy endeavor. But maybe I would be better off in another setting? I am beginning to believe that is the truth. Anywhere else might be a better place to be. I will have to think on that some more.

I have never quit anything I have started. That is one thing I do not do. But! I don't believe I can stay with the class and also stay true to myself. I am convinced that the anxiety I am feeling is directly related to the 'corporation think/speak' I have been hearing and feeling at that class. I have always been good at being stubborn. This time however, I am not going to hang in there just to prove that I can. I am tired of the anxiousness. I am tired of the feeling that this is just wrong. I am not going to finish my class. I will keep the book. I paid for it-it is mine. I will do the reading and the exercises. But I am not going to finish the class and I am not going to be one of H&R Block's People. This is my effort to remain true to what I believe!

Now I do feel better...